Introduction

As I packed my bags for Cambodia, set to attend Ken’s wedding from the 2nd to the 5th of February, a whirlwind of emotions swirled within me. On one hand, there was the palpable excitement of travel and the anticipation of the adventures that lay ahead. On the other, a sense of hesitation tugged at my heartstrings. My life had recently been a quest for order, a disciplined pursuit of focus and fitness—a lifestyle both rewarding and demanding to maintain. The prospect of attending a wedding, an event I generally approached with reluctance, added to my mixed feelings. Yet, the lure of reuniting with friends from the republic, friends I hadn’t seen since that unforgettable night in January 2018 at Monkey Beach Penang, overshadowed my reservations. That night, dubbed the most miserable of our lives, paradoxically set the stage for a reunion filled with anticipation and the promise of new connections.

Indeed, it was the prospect of seeing these friends again that tipped the scales. Eizo from Japan, now making his life in Shanghai; Kuya If from the Philippines, carving out his existence in Tokyo; Aan, the Malaysian Cooperative Secretary; and Phu from Vietnam, whose expired passport rendered him unable to cross borders. Each friend represented a unique thread in the rich tapestry of my life, their stories intertwining with mine across the geographical and cultural tapestry that spans our diverse backgrounds.

Reflecting on the journey ahead, I realized that this trip was more than just a commitment to witness Ken’s matrimonial vows. It was an opportunity to reconnect, to forge deeper bonds with old friends, and to make new ones. Despite my initial reluctance, I understood that this experience promised to enrich my life in ways I could not yet fathom. The journey to Cambodia was not just a mere physical transition from one place to another; it was a voyage into the heart of friendship, a testament to the enduring bonds that withstand the tests of time and distance.

It was all worth it, I would soon discover. The insights gained, the laughter shared, and the memories forged in the days to come would affirm the value of this journey. But little did I know just how transformative this trip would be, nor could I have anticipated the lifelong reflections it would inspire.

Discovering My Personal Mission

1. Family: My journey to create a nurturing family environment is about fostering love, support, and resilience, ensuring a foundation of emotional and moral support for future generations.
   • Happy romantic commited marriage. (no cheating or affair)
   • good bond with children, and help develop character and spirit in them (with focus on domains outside education)
2. Business: I’m driven to achieve entrepreneurial excellence that not only surpasses previous generational achievements but also redefines what success looks like in my field.
3. Finance: Committing to mastering financial literacy and savvy investment strategies aims to secure my family’s future and support broader philanthropic efforts.

**Also - to live life being a wholesome person. ** wholesome - non singular domain contained. very round and well verse in all aspects of life, not contained to business or finance or education. also know about sports, adventuring, exploration, history and culture and its impacts on us as who we are. politics and policies that shaped our current society and how it can continuosly evlove to help us. marriage, romance. personal development. non singular career skill bound. flexible, adaptable. afraid but still dare to try hard in new things with uncertain results. always reflecting, learning and progressing.

Learnings through different country lense

Kuya If

On a serene Sunday night in Cambodia, as the hustle of our adventure quieted down, Kuya If and I found ourselves in the rare moment of stillness that often precedes profound realizations. With Eizo on his way to the airport and Aan accompanying him, the stage was set for a conversation that would leave an indelible mark on my understanding of life, purpose, and the relentless pursuit of breaking out from the cycles that bind us.

The Essence of Breaking Out

Kuya If, with his calm demeanor and thoughtful words, began to unravel his life story, a narrative of courage, sacrifice, and an unwavering commitment to altering the destiny of his family. Born into the confines of poverty in the Philippines, he chose a path less traveled by his ancestors—a path that led him away from the fields and into the halls of education, and eventually, across seas in search of a better life for himself and those he held dear.

His journey, marked by the laborious decision to leave behind the familiar toil of farm work for the uncertainties of a foreign land, was not just a quest for financial stability but a mission to uplift his entire family out of the depths of poverty. Kuya If’s story was a testament to the power of one individual’s resolve to change the course of many lives. Through his efforts, he not only secured a better future for his younger siblings, nieces, and nephews but also instilled in them the value of education and the possibility of a life beyond the fields.

Reflections on Family and Legacy

As Kuya If shared his story, I was drawn into a deep reflection on my own life’s mission and the concept of “breaking out” from the generational cycles that shape our existence. The parallels between Kuya If’s determination to redefine his family’s legacy and my own aspirations to transcend the limitations set by my background became increasingly clear. His narrative prompted me to ponder the ways in which I could contribute to my family’s story, not just in terms of financial prosperity, but through fostering a home filled with love, understanding, and the encouragement to pursue one’s passions.

Breaking Out in My Context

Inspired by Kuya If’s journey, I began to envision what “breaking out” would mean for me. It became evident that the mission I was tasked with involved not just elevating our financial status but also nurturing a family environment where love, respect, and personal growth were paramount. This would entail building upon the foundation laid by my parents, rectifying the flaws in their marriage through a commitment to a happy, functional family life, and instilling in my children the values and resilience needed to navigate the complexities of the world.

A New Understanding of Success

The conversation with Kuya If reshaped my understanding of success. It illuminated the multifaceted nature of achievement, encompassing the emotional, relational, and financial aspects of life. His life mission—rooted in sacrifice, love, and the relentless pursuit of a better future for his loved ones—offered a profound perspective on the impact we can make through our actions and choices.

As the night drew to a close, I was left with a deep sense of gratitude for the connection SSEAYP had facilitated between Kuya If and me. His story, a beacon of hope and a blueprint for transformative action, underscored the significance of our journeys in shaping not only our destinies but those of the generations that follow.

Eizo

Eizo’s transformation since moving from Japan to Shanghai is nothing short of remarkable. Not only has his sense of humor remained as infectious as ever, but his proficiency in Chinese has also reached impressive new heights. Now thriving in his career, Eizo’s earnings have tripled, netting him an estimated 7,000 SGD after benefits—a testament to his hard work and adaptability.

His presence is always a delight, injecting laughter and joy into every moment we share. This visit, however, Eizo faced a unique challenge as one of the groomsmen at the wedding, finding himself in the unexpected role of a “human ornament.” Despite the difficulties, his spirit and humor never waned, making every interaction with him memorable.

After reconnecting with Eizo, whose humor and resilience in adapting to a new culture and excelling in his career, I found a renewed sense of purpose in my own professional aspirations. Eizo’s journey, marked by significant personal growth and success abroad, mirrored my ambition to redefine success in my field. It was a reminder that embracing new challenges, much like Eizo’s mastery of Chinese and his career leap in Shanghai, could lead to fulfilling my own entrepreneurial aspirations.

Personal Reflections and Inspirations Eizo’s journey has not only been a source of laughter but also of inspiration. Witnessing his linguistic achievements and professional growth in a foreign country has motivated me to dedicate myself more fully to learning Vietnamese. His ability to navigate and excel in a new cultural and linguistic environment encourages me to embrace my own language learning journey with renewed vigor and commitment.

Ken’s Odyssey (2019-2024)

Ken’s narrative over the past five years is a compelling tale of ambition, setbacks, and resilience. Our conversation peeled back the layers of his recent history, revealing a journey marked by significant life events and personal challenges. From 2019 to 2024, Ken’s path has been anything but straightforward.

His story began with aspirations for a safer future, driven by concerns over political stability in Cambodia and a desire for American citizenship. The year 2019 remains a blur, but 2020 brought the global upheaval of COVID-19, during which Ken, like many, turned to the stock market and cryptocurrency, hoping for financial security. Unfortunately, this venture ended in significant losses.

In 2021, amid the pandemic’s chaos, Ken attempted to return to his studies but was thwarted by contracting COVID-19, missing the critical attendance required and ultimately staying in Cambodia. Determined, he resumed his education in 2022, faced the BAR exam in 2023—unfortunately without success—and in 2024, embarked on a new chapter by getting married, with the prospect of citizenship on the horizon.

Ken’s concerns about potential civil unrest in Cambodia led me to delve into the topic further in the days following our conversation. While the threat didn’t seem as imminent as feared, it underscored the complexities of Ken’s anxieties about his homeland’s stability.

In reflecting on Ken’s recent struggles and aspirations, my own fears and hopes for financial security came to the forefront. Ken’s candid sharing of his setbacks and dreams underscored the importance of financial literacy and investment savvy in navigating life’s uncertainties. His story propelled me to commit more deeply to mastering financial strategies, ensuring I could provide a stable foundation for my family and contribute meaningfully to the causes I care about.

Reflections on Ken’s Financial Struggles

Eizo’s observations brought a poignant aspect of Ken’s situation to light. Despite the financial strains evident from his experiences with investments and his educational pursuits, Ken’s decision to host a wedding without the means to support his guests’ accommodations or forego the traditional expectation of red packets was met with mixed feelings among us. It highlighted the delicate balance between cultural expectations and personal financial realities.

This phase of Ken’s life, filled with trials, learning, and moments of joy, paints a picture of a man navigating the complexities of modern life with hope and perseverance. His story, though fraught with challenges, is a testament to the strength found in vulnerability and the continuous quest for stability and happiness.

Reconciliation with Aan

Reflecting on my journey of interactions with Aan, I’ve harbored a mix of emotions stemming from incidents that felt deeply personal. The loss of my favorite shorts, taken during a time when I opened my home and heart to friends, left a sting of betrayal that wasn’t easy to shake off. This event, among a few others, seeded a bitterness that clouded our subsequent encounters, leading to moments where I wasn’t my best self towards him.

Despite these feelings, a part of me yearned to reconnect and understand Aan beyond the grievances that had formed. Our interaction during this trip, albeit brief, served as a stark reminder of the qualities in Aan that initially drew me to him. His intellectual depth, ceaseless curiosity, and achievements, including his impressive multilingual streak on Duolingo, underscored a profound reminder of the person I admired.

Aan’s accomplishments, particularly in language learning and marathons, highlight a discipline and dedication that I, too, aspire to embody. His journey, marked by a 1,000-day streak in learning German, Arabic, and other languages, stands as a testament to his commitment to growth and exploration, challenging me to look beyond our past misunderstandings.

In our last night’s interaction, I was reminded once again of Aan’s vast knowledge and the intellectual richness he brings to our group. It’s a humbling realization that, despite our differences and the paths we’ve taken, there is much to admire and learn from each other.

Looking ahead, I hope to carry forward the positive aspects of our friendship, allowing the good to overshadow any past grievances. The goal is not to forget but to forge a new path of understanding and respect, remembering the shared moments of growth and the diverse perspectives that enrich our collective experience.

Reconnecting with Panda

Our initial meeting during the 2022 Singapore Standard Chartered Marathon (SCSM) was a chance encounter that quickly turned into a memorable shared experience. Despite both of us being part of the larger SSEAYP community, our paths had not crossed until that marathon, where a shared pace and the journey of the race brought us together. An unexpected issue with my shoes cut our run short, but the connection had already been made.

Reuniting in Cambodia felt like picking up right where we left off, transforming my visit from mere tourism to an immersive experience into the heart of local life, thanks to Panda. Our first night felt isolating, with our calls for camaraderie left unanswered by other CPYs. However, Panda’s hospitality and willingness to show us around infused our trip with warmth and excitement. The visit to the currency museum, although overwhelming in its information, became a backdrop for deeper connection and understanding.

The highlight of our trip was undoubtedly the evening jog Panda led us on, taking us across the Mekong River on a barge—a simple yet profoundly beautiful experience. It was during this time that Panda shared the harrowing story of his family’s home catching fire, a tragedy that he mentioned so casually we initially mistook it for a common occurrence. The reality of the situation—his parents’ desperate escape and the loss of everything they had built, including their livelihood for the upcoming Chinese New Year—was heart-wrenching. This tragedy, and Panda’s resilience in the face of it, revealed a depth to his character that resonated deeply with me.

Our shared interests, from fitness and marathons to finance, technology, and cooking, underscored how similar we are, despite our different backgrounds. Panda’s engagement in these areas, alongside his continuous pursuit of knowledge through podcasts, reading, and new courses, mirrors my own passions and pursuits. This realization, inspired by the notion that the internet can connect like-minded individuals from across the globe, has led me to hope that our friendship can continue to grow and evolve.

As I reflect on the time spent with Panda, I am filled with gratitude for the unique bond formed through shared experiences and mutual interests. Our connection, strengthened by adversity and shared pursuits, stands as a testament to the potential for deep, meaningful friendships that transcend geographical and cultural boundaries. I look forward to the next chapter of our friendship, hopeful for the adventures and growth it will bring.

Photo of the Gang

Arrival in Cambodia: Day 1, February 2nd

The journey began with a sense of liberation as I stepped into the airport, embarking towards Cambodia. The convenience of Jetstar’s online check-in and the seamless process at Terminal 4 highlighted the start of an adventure. Opting for a meal at Crystal Jade instead of the lounge set the tone for new experiences.

The flight was an opportunity for reflection, attempting to summarize the insights from my daily journals. Despite the short flight, the task remained unfinished, leaving thoughts to ponder for the rest of the trip. Upon landing, the wait for Eizo turned into a reunion of shared stories and anticipations. Together, we awaited Kuya If, completing our trio for the journey ahead to our accommodations, which Eizo praised for its comfort, a stark contrast to my previous arrangements for him.

Evening Explorations

Our first night unfolded with an exploration of the local night market, where Eizo’s unique interactions with strangers and an encounter with a beggar at a tuk-tuk stop prompted reflections on the city’s evolution and the whereabouts of the CPYs (Cambodian peers).

Ken’s visit later that evening brought a moment of reflection on our shared journeys. His presence, with a carton of beer in hand, allowed us to delve into his life from 2019 to 2024, revealing a path marked by challenges and resilience.

Exploring Cambodia’s vibrant streets, engaging with its people, and witnessing the rich tapestry of its traditions, I was struck by the resilience and warmth of the Cambodian spirit. The visit to the currency museum, although overwhelming, offered a glimpse into the nation’s tumultuous history and the resilience of its people. This deep dive into Cambodian culture broadened my perspective, teaching me the value of resilience and adaptability in the face of adversity.

Discoveries and Connections: Day 2

An early start at 6 am for a swim did little to lift my spirits, challenging my resolve with its difficulty. The day brightened with Panda’s recommendation to visit the Brown Cafe and his subsequent company to the currency museum, where our attempt to engage with the exhibits was hampered by the complexity of the information presented.

The highlight was a run with Panda across the Mekong River, an experience filled with camaraderie and the thrill of adventure, despite the unsettling encounter with stray dogs. This was followed by an insightful dinner at the wedding venue, where Eizo’s humorous plight as a groomsman and our conversations with Panda’s family offered a glimpse into the local life and customs. Eizo became the human “ornament” decoration for the wedding ceremonies and the his hilarious recount on the conversations with the bride’s brother as the ‘biologically sister’.

Reflections and Celebrations: Day 3

The day kicked off before dawn, leading to my third personal record in a 10km run. The morning ceremony of the wedding was marked by a sense of belonging yet an underutilization of our presence, compensated by the delightful offerings of coffee and seafood porridge.

A swim with Eizo and an unexpected interaction with a local child sparked thoughts on the universal language of play and connection. The evening brought us to the wedding venue earlier than anticipated, revealing the nuances of social dynamics and the joy of culinary delights, particularly the suckling pig. A missed opportunity to thank Panda before his departure left a pang of regret.

The morning ceremony at Ken’s wedding, set against the backdrop of Cambodian marital traditions, was a poignant reminder of the universal quest for love and companionship. Learning about the customs, such as the groom moving into the bride’s family home, highlighted the communal nature of Cambodian society, contrasting with the more individualistic approach often seen in Western cultures. These cultural insights enriched my understanding of the diverse ways in which societies navigate life’s most significant milestones.

Cultural Immersion and Departure: Day 4

Breakfast at Ken’s mother-in-law’s house introduced us to Cambodian marital traditions, enriching our understanding and appreciation of the culture. Engaging conversations with Ken’s family underscored the value of interpersonal connections, rounding off the trip with a sense of fulfillment and anticipation for future reunions.

Reflections and Insights

As I reflect on the myriad of experiences and the mosaic of friendships that have colored my journey in Cambodia, I am reminded of the continuous path of growth and discovery that lies ahead. The laughter shared, the challenges faced, and the wisdom gained from Eizo, Ken, Aan, and Panda have not only enriched my soul but have also laid the groundwork for the person I aspire to become.

Looking forward, I am committed to embracing the lessons learned from each of these remarkable individuals—whether it’s pursuing my entrepreneurial ambitions with the resilience I admired in Eizo, approaching my financial goals with the cautionary tales of Ken in mind, or fostering a nurturing family environment inspired by the discussions with Kuya If. Above all, my journey in Cambodia has instilled in me a resolve to live a life that is not just successful in the conventional sense but is also rich in experiences, relationships, and contributions to the wider world.

Armed with these insights and inspired by the enduring bonds of friendship, I step into the future with a heart full of gratitude and a spirit eager for the adventures that await. Cambodia, with its complex history and vibrant culture, has been more than just a destination; it has been a crucible for transformation, a crossroads where past meets future, and a reminder that every journey, no matter how far, always leads us back to ourselves.